I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
