Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
