Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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