Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
