And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
