Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
