i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
