i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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