***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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