I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
