He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
