My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
