Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize