jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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