I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
