i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
