would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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