I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
