The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
