CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
