I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize