So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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