I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
