I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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