Don't you send me to vm
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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