Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize