reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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