I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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