I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
A+ Viking dick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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