White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
As shirtless as possible
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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