I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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