just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
