I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
