My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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