i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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