just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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