youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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