yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
