Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
