I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize