at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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