i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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