Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
