What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
