I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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