I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
