I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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