Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize