hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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