you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
