so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize