I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
