I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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