i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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