Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
