Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
