someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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