Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
