Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
