What a fucking waste of an outfit
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
