I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
